Thursday, March 29, 2007
Just a few days after my post exploring the viability of lion wool, Duck was so kind enough to alert me to this article.
Scientists create a sheep that's 15% human.
The possibilities for wool are truly limitless.
Above: Artist's rendering of a sheep, lion, and sheep-person farm, for the cultivation of fine wools.
Filed Under: WTF
Friday, March 23, 2007
I was flipping through last week's Improper Bostonian last week when came across on article about Spark - the local craft studio where you can get all your crafting groove on, including jewelry-making, paper crafts, and of course knitting, and do it all in a social, collaborative setting. I've mentioned Spark way back when, and even though I was really excited about its concept back then, I found that it just wasn't for me. Not much of a surprise is it?
But the real issue is everytime I go in, I don't exactly get a cozy, inviting vibe from the decor and general atmosphere. All the plastic bins and cubbie holes of scissors and rulers and various crafting materials remind me of a first grade classroom or an after-school daycare center. I would know, as I have been both in first grade and in a daycare center. May your children never know the horrors of the latter. I can still see Bobby in the corner eating glitter-covered glue or David sticking playdough up his runny nose, amongst other things. Little children can be so vile, especially when there's more than 50 of them in one room.
And the piles of dog-eared magazines laying the tables, meant for crafting inspiration, are also how your doctor's waiting room is decorated. It's very bright, clean, sterile, uncomfortable. No disrespect to Spark, mind you. It really is a cool place. My reactions are all very unexpected ones, and entirely my own.
So anyway, Improper did an article featuring Spark, and there was one line that really made my day:
"Knitting supplies include inexpensive, colorful lion wool for beginners..."
That one little phrase is just so rich! So delicious! Lion wool! LION WOOL, with a lowercase "L"!!!
Can you just picture a non-knitter reading this line, and thinking, "Lion wool? Wool made from lions? Is inexpensive? And colorful? And for BEGINNERS?"
I am sure they meant to write Lion BRAND Wool, which indeed is inexpensive, colorful, and for beginners (I guess? Whatever "beginner" wool means), and in large supply at Spark.
But then I thought maybe I was missing something. Maybe there is such a thing as wool culled from lions, the same kind of lions who are usually caked in dried blood from eating wildebeests all day, and who use their ribs as toothpicks afterwards. I mean I am still rather new to the knitting scene, learning new stuff all the time, so why not? You get nice wool from rabbits, goats, yaks, camels...why not a lion?
And I could imagine a lion's mane as very amenable to being made into fiber. Afterall it is thick, long and lush. I don't know if it's soft as I have never had the pleasure of petting a lion, but it couldn't be any more coarse than the hair of a yak? (Never petted a yak either though.)
After much thought - probably too much thought - I realized that lion wool just can't possibly be. Can you imagine the logistics of it? Keeping a farm full of male lions, next to your merinos and alpacas? Shearing lion wool? Would you tranquilize them first? What to feed them? So many questions, not enough money.
However there's a market for everything, so perhaps cultivating lion wool is not entirely out of the question. It could happen one day. I mean through sheer force of imagination man has taken seaweed and turned it into yarn. For crying out loud, how is lion not the next logical step?
Lion wool, lion wool...There is something very pleasing in that concept. A lion is a cat. A very big cat. I like cats. I like it when they purr. Mmmm. I can just picture it now: Scout or Hello Yarn carrying lion roving in their shops. It wouldn't be cheap, oh no, but imagine yourself spinning lion yarn - from a real live lion's mane! - by the fire. How old-fashioned and wildly exotic at the same time! And wouldn't you just love to knit your own pair of socks made from Sundara Yarn 100% superwash lionwool?
I am sure that someone, somewhere, someday, will make this lion wool dream of mine a reality. I myself would totally turn this blog post into a business plan, but alas. I am too busy organizing a penpal club.
Above: Artist's rendition of a sheep and lion farm, for the cultivation of fine wools.
Filed Under: General Knitting | WTF
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
In case you missed this really important headline, here's this morning's Breaking News from cnndotcom:
"The musical 'Dr3amgirls' led today's Ac@demy Aw@rds contenders with eight nominations, but was shut out in the best picture category for which it had been considered a potential front-runner."
Stunning. I mean. 8 nominations - but no best pic? I knew it - there is no god. I'm completely shattered.
Even so, I'm not quite as shattered as I was when I read this truly Breaking News-worthy breaking news from Nov 7, 2006. It's possible you fellow Americans might have missed this one because you stepped away from your desk to perform more pressing matters, like to refill your cup of coffee. Or to pee. Or to vote.
"Br!tney Sp3ars files for divorce from her husband...citing irreconcilable differences."
I caught it though. As soon as it happens, I know about it. Thank you cnn.
 Here's my own very exciting breaking news: Hatred for knitting by hand convinces handknitter to buy knitting machine.
Slow, torturous progress on my Kooch. I've decided it needs to be a given a more flattering name and will now call it My Albatross.
Waaaah you guys waaah. Finishing this is going to be a huge struggle. I want the coat a million times more than I want to knit it. After knitting with fingering weight yarn for so long, the chunky is doing a number on my hands, not to mention the return of Reynaud's on my ring and pinky fingers making chunky knitting that much more unpleasant. I've been fantasizing about a knitting machine more and more. If I had a knitting machine I'd use it in a heartbeat. If I had a knitting machine I'd have a sweater coat in another heartbeat. No more languishing as a WiP for a year...the whole thing would finally be done.
If I get one though would that be like going over to the knitting darkside? My mom has one and I always poo-poo it. Because isn't the fun of knitting doing the actual knitting? The yarn, the color of the yarn, the feel of the yarn through your fingers, the clicking of needles, the mechanics of it all motivate us more than whatever the outcome will be.
But not in this case! Stockinette stitch to infinity, scratchy yarn, chunky needles...Kooch is officially Not Fun to Knit. I have no tactile motivation; I just really really want to wear it.
This is where the practicality of hand knitting comes into play - as in, it's just not there! So to machine-knit or not to machine-knit...that is the question...
Filed Under: General Knitting | Rowan | Kooch | WTF
Monday, January 23, 2006
View from igloo window
On Saturday we went on a hike through the woods in 60F weather, and even got warmed up enough to go in short sleeves. In JANUARY. Now, there's I dunno, 5 feet of snow on the ground. Boston weather is indecisive like that.
Well, it is so nice to know that they are complete strangers out in the world who care about another stranger's welfare. It is week 2 of the Swollen Pinky Saga, and even though it's still plump, it doesn't hurt or throb anymore, enough that I have managed to get a dozen rows or so of knitting the last couple of evenings.
Here's the situation at our house, as some of you have asked, and given the kind of advice (very thoughtful advice, btw) I've gotten as to how to keep warm, I've realized I've been kinda lazy with the details:
- Our house has about 2000 sq ft of living space.
- I occupy 150 sq ft of it during the day.
- There is only one thermostat for the entire house.
- I do have a space heater for the office, but it sucks. Bought a new one. Much better.
- I wear 3 layers of clothing and a hat everyday.
- This is the first winter I've worked from home consistently. Hence this is really the first time warmth or lack of warmth has become an issue.
- The windows are new. (But I can tell wind is seeping through the front and side doors. Must replace)
- We used the plastic thingy for them last year and noticed no difference.
- Our first winter in this house in 2001 led us discover that this house had NO INSULATION. At all. The floorboards were ICE. It's now insulated. (A house in New England without insulation?? WTF?)
- Oil prices back then were about $1.15 per gallon.
- Right now it is $2.50 per gallon.
- I just remembered that part of the heating bill is, and has been, tax deductible. You know, on account of this being a place of business and whatnot. I've known this but it has only now just occured to me. GOD I'm an idiot. TIME TO CRANK THAT SHIT UP.
My parents are despairing that I should have what they call a "poor, old woman's" condition. Here's a conversion between mom and me, spoken in our usual mix of Mandarenglish. Did I just invent a new word?
MOM: Oh I am so sad, that you have this problem!
ME: It's not a big deal.
MOM: But it's like you're too poor to afford heat!
ME: No I'm saving the environment.
MOM: What about yourself? I cannot imagine my own daughter do damage to herself just because she won't turn on heat!
ME: thinking: she has a point. Well it's just not efficient.
MOM: Maybe you need to have the heating system redone. I will buy you some long underwear.
ME: OK
MOM: Tell Ya-Tze ("Duck" in mandarin) that he can turn up the heat a little. Pleeeeeease?
ME: It wasn't really his decision. I'm the one who stays at home all day.
MOM: Well, then tell him he needs to get more flaffy and sit on you to incubate.
ME: HAHAHA!
MOM: HA! HA!
In lieu of having Duck incubate me, I have this new space heater and it kicks ass. I've only had it on a couple hours this morning and the office is still nice and toasty. I have no idea why I suffered with that shitty one for so long. You had to be 1 millimeter away from it to feel any heat, and none of it lingered once turned off. I'm stupid. It clearly sucked.
This space heater is cat and whale approved
I also bought a pair of sheepskin moccasins and oh my god. I cannot believe I have lived in New England for what?! 12 years now! and have never discovered the miracle that is sheep fur. All those winters tromping through the snow without the benefit of sheep? Why do I still have toes? Do they make sheepskin bodysuits?
In other good news...My feline sidekick Kitty is in town today from NYC. We're going to Hamersley's Bistro in the South End for dinner. Their winter menu includes cassoulet. I LOVE KITTY AND I LOVE CASSOULET.
Hopefully more knitting content to come. Thanks for all of your concerns and advice! I'm almost healed!
Filed Under: Life | WTF
Friday, January 20, 2006
My doctor thinks I have Raynaud's Syndrome. Cool! It will likely reoccur as long as it's winter. Bah! I really thought it was ulnar tunnel. She thinks my issues have all to do with the chilly house temperature, and not at all with my job or the knitting. In fact she didn't tell me once to refrain from knitting.
She did tell me to wear thermals, to wear mittens and not gloves, and for chrissakes to turn up the heat. My revelation that our house hovers around 55 F prompted her to conduct a little poll around the office. Most everyone said they kept their house at 65 to 70 F. Dude, we just received our oil bill yesterday right, which was about 5 weeks after the last fillup, and it was nearly $300. $300 for TURNING ON THE HEAT FOR LIKE, ONE HOUR A DAY.
AND! this has been an extremely extremely mild winter so far!
So if it costs us $300 a month just to have two hot showers in the morning, I can't even IMAGINE how much it would cost to maintain toasty all day long.
But, ha ha, the funny part is that precisely due to my maybe overzealousness to save on oil, I have f---'d up my hand and will have to spend gajillions on today's medical fees. My doctor had x-rays taken of my fingers, just in case I broke it without my knowing. I said to her, "No thanks, I'm sure I didn't," when I really meant to say, "No thanks, I dn't want to pay for it." Insurance isn't covering this one.
But I had the x-rays anyway, and of course, everything was fine.
I'm going to be MIGHTY UPSET at myself if the bill for the x-rays (oh and bloodwork! in case I have lupus!) come out costing more than what it might have cost to heat the house at 70F all winter.
PS! I wore Aimee to my appt. and got a few compliments. Tee hee. I didn't tell them I made it.
Filed Under: WTF
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Well, one way to get over your boredom of knitting is to be told that you can't.
Check out the little piggy. If you dare.
Hey wow. Fingers are kind of gross.
On the left: a normal, wrinkly pinky
On the right: a fat, smooth pinky
The right pinky and ring finger are worse today, damnit. I think I might have ulnar tunnel syndrome. It is caused by a pinched ulnar nerve, due to occupational hazards such as sitting on butt and typing all the live long day. And knitting all the live long night. Knitting isn't explicitly mentioned, but I'm so sure it's not helping matters. Also I favor sleeping on my right side. Ulnar tunnel affects the pinky and ring fingers, not the thumb or others. Ding ding ding! The middle and index finger aren't swollen like I thought yesterday. Just cold.
I ruled out Raynaud's Syndrome. Even though I have much of the symptoms, I don't have temporary "attacks" and it doesn't affect the rest of my digits. This is more chronic and relegated to just my last two fingers.
I've taken heed and made an appt with the doctor tomorrow morning. And I was going to let this pass too. We'll see what she says. Who knows, maybe this time tomorrow afternoon I'll be typing a post with 9 fingers instead of 10. On the plus side, I'll have to learn how to knit continental for sure. Or to knit with my feet. Heh heh. Nervous laughter.
Filed Under: WTF
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
My fourth, middle finger and index finger on my right hand are now swollen too, mostly at the tips where it's all tingly and slightly numb. My pinky is still very fat and very taut, especially the middle section. If my pinky had feet he wouldn't be able to see them. Is this the sign that the end is near? I'm not allowed to knit anymore. And I have to remember to get out of this seat once every half hour or so and run up and down the stairs a few times. It's so pathetic.
So who watched AmericanIdol last night? I did. The audition episodes are the best. Normally I don't really get excited about it but there's something so enjoyable in seeing other people's lack of self-awareness, and then laughing at them.
Did you know I went to high school with Ry@n-S3acrest (sorry for the wacky "encoding" but I don't want this site coming up on a search for his name). He was a year older but although fortune has been very good to him, time has not. He looks a good deal older than he actually is. Then again I look like a 12 year old boy, especially with certain haircuts, so it's all relative I guess. Anyway he used to do the morning Pledge of Allegiance and school announcements, and on hearing him the first day of high school I thought they had hired some professional, especially since he always started and signed off with his name.
Like, "Good morning, this is Ry@n-S3acrest! I pledge allegiance...to the flag...of the United States...of America ...Today the cafeteria will be serving fried steak with a side of hashbrowns..." He made school announcements sound like news you could depend on. Then he did the local top 40 radio station at nights all through high school. I'm really not sure how he pulled that off and still graduated.
He sounded good though, a nice voice with all that nice enunciating and pitch modulating (whatever just roll with me), although it's too bad he sucks when there's no script to read. His professional announcer voice hasn't been able to save him in those many instances that Simon calls him a pretty little girl in front of the entire world, for example. Too bad he's so without wit. And height. I could put three of him in my pocket.
But whatever, kudos to him, really. He's now like this huge conglomerate. Thanks to him I'm separated by a mere 2 degrees from everybody in Hollywood. Me 'n Paula are like this [crossing my two fingers together]. (Ow)
Filed Under: WTF
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Poor wording, that.
No...I don't think I will watch.
Update: I just did. WTF.
Filed Under: WTF
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