Being harassed by stupid people really sucks

A couple of years ago we started getting phone calls from strangers looking for "Duck." Though they were not telemarketers, they called every single day, and though they were looking for some same-named "Duck," they were looking for the one that owned a automotive/mechanic business in a nearby town, and not the one who is a software developer geek and who is only automotive in the sense that he owns a car and can drive it.

These people would not stop calling, even though we told them every time that, yes there is a "Duck" here, however he is not the Duck are you looking for. We don't have a car business. Please check your information. Again. And stop calling.

But they didn't. Obviously they had major beef with this Duck the Mechanic, because soon after we started getting voicemails from some lawyer, saying if we didn't respond to the "charges" being "brought,", then "action" will be "taken."

Well naturally we were alarmed at first, but that quickly gave way to extreme annoyance, because it became obvious that even though these people had some sort of dealing with Duck the Mechanic and his Automotive Business, they had no business address nor business phone number contact whatsoever, only a name to go on so surely we shall find the business owner using this here trusty RESIDENTIAL phonebook.

We called this lawyer back, always getting a voicemail, and explained for the umpteenth time that they have the wrong person.

There was no acknowledgement from the lawyer of this fact. We wouldn't hear anything for a few weeks. But then invariably he'd call back again, with the same message. And we'd call back, with the same message.

It was already far beyond ridiculous that we couldn't get a hold of this person on the phone or that after all this he didn't seem to realize that MAYBE using just a name from the residential section of the phone book is not exactly reliable, because there is such a thing in this great big world of ours as two people with the same name.

I mean, use a private investigator! A protractor! A freaking telescope, whatever! Anything's more reliable than just a phone book! They just latched onto this person my Duck and were intent on nailing him, regardless of their clear lack of evidence that this is the person they were looking for.

We didn't pursue it anymore because we stopped getting calls...due to the fact that we coincidentally disabled our land line and were using our cell phones exclusively. We haven't thought about the phone calls since.

Until yesterday when a Deputy Sheriff showed up on my front doorstep with a court summons. For Duck. Of the Automotive Business. Yes that's right! Court summons for Duck the Mechanic WHO HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU DOES NOT LIVE AT THIS GODDAMNED ADDRESS!!!!

This nearly two years later! For the past three years these idiots have been adamant in pursuing the wrong person, ON NAME ALONE, and here I am sweaty in my workout clothes (hooray I worked out yesterday! for the first time in like 30 years!) trying to explain the situation to the big burly sheriff on my front steps who was probably feeling sorry for me because I am clueless that I have married a con man, and it's going to be terrible scene when she finds out.

Why are these people so stupid? What a colossal waste of their time, and ours! Not only is this just a plain nuisance, but we have Plans that cannot be disrupted by going to court for something we didn't do (more on the Plans later).

The sheriff did not hand the court summons to me, as it wasn't for me, but did hand me his business card with his phone number which Duck called a million times yesterday to try to get this annoying matter resolved.

He finally called back today, Duck played his They Have The Wrong Person, Same Name record, gave the whole phone calling history, and to our relief the sheriff said he would write a letter to the attorney, the plaintiffs, the judge, whatever and get the matter settled. Not only will he not attempt to serve him papers, he won't serve any more that he sees in the future addressed to Duck at this location. And best of all, we don't have to do a thing.

Except maybe to find who the plaintiffs are and give them a good kick in the mouth.

Have a good weekend!

P.S. We get a credit report every year, and it's been clean. So no ID theft. Thank the dear sweet goodness.

Comments [12]
Filed Under: Life

The Red Sox are finito

Well, just the one sock. The actual Red Sox are the ones that are finished. Because of this the spirit of completing the Red Socks has left me, if only temporarily. I am sad. It is not fun to knit socks in honor of a baseball team that SUCKS. Don't you know I knit for winners only! So when they start winning let's say, ONE GAME IN A ROW, then I will start on the second sock. I don't think that's too much to ask. Or is it?!

I just realized that washing these bad boys may result in a dye-bleeding tragedy. How am I going to prevent the toes and heels from turning pink? Unless they never got washed, ever? Hmmm.

Comments [10]
Filed Under: Socks | Red Sox

Snakes on a *&#(! Plane! Tonight!

See you at the movies BOOya!

Meanwhile, playing at a local basement near you...

"Veebs on a Bender"

Comments [9]
Filed Under: Life

It's here

Hello fellow Americans who are possibly still sans Rowan! I received my Rowan yesterday in the mail, hopefully you guys did too. And let me say, it...was kind of sort of only slightly worth the wait...? Maybe? The two items that caught my eye, besides the crazy KSH ballgown "Arwen" which no way would I ever make, is Aelf and Lorelai. The others are nice but just how nice I'm not sure yet.

It just doesn't quite compare to last year's issue, Rowan 38. Even though it was better known as The Issue That Was Universally Vilified, it was responsible for really turning me into a Rowan fan, whereas before I was frankly puzzled by its popularity.

In fact, while waiting for 40 to arrive, I took another good look through 38, and find I love it even more. Aside from finally finishing Kooch (and I'd really really REALLY like to finish it. I was in anthropologie yesterday and sweater coats were everywhere), I want to start Miss Maple. Yes that beautiful sweater-poncho-cardigan enigma that will do nothing to accentuate my non-existent curves but whatever I still love it. It's trendy yet classic at the same time. No? Maybe.

Instead of Felted Tweed I could use the mounds of Peruvian Wool that has been sitting in my stash for nearly 2 years. So all I need are a couple of skeins of KSH. Which I will purchase at WEBS this weekend when we are in western Mass for a BBQ (this has been a fantastic summer, by the way). Damn you WEBS for carrying Rowan now! I am weaker than ever in your yarn-filled presence!

Anyway. I think I just reviewed Rowan 40 by reviewing Rowan 38. That's really helpful. I'm such a good knit blogger. And didn't I make a promise not so long ago that I'd blog daily? I should quit saying things I don't mean. Like "I'll call you right back" or "Yeah I'll do the dishes" or "I'm going to finish Kooch." Oh well, I've been really busy. I mean lazy. Sorry.

But I've been knitting! Check out what's been accomplished just in the last week:

Boston Red Socks
I am LOVING the way these are turning out, like ACTUAL, official team-sanctioned socks!

The pattern I'm using is the Madder Ribbed Sock from Knitting Vintage Socks, and the yarn is Baby Cashmerino. I'm using US2 needles and have adapted the pattern for this gauge.

The Horseshoe heel looks interesting, like a coffee bean.

It's sad. These Red Socks are better than the actual Red Sox.

 

Clapotis
I needed something "brainless" to knit and this fits the bill, although what's great about this pattern is that it's not so brainless at all. I can see why it's been so popular. It's witty, if a pattern can be called that. I love the part in the pattern where you drop the stitch. The first time I had to really think about how to do this. I mean I've dropped stitches plenty of times by accident. Having to do it on purpose sort of messed with my brain. Knitting on the bias did that too.

I'm making this half the called-for width but it's still wide enough to be more stoley than scarfy. The yarn is Noro Silk Garden in #34. So pretty. So so pretty.

Comments [10]
Filed Under: Clapotis | Rowan | Socks | Red Sox

Where's my Rowan?

Hey. I just realized Rowan 40 is out, maybe for a couple of weeks already, but my mailbox is still empty. Have any of you Rowan subscribers out there received your latest magazine yet? It looks to be really good too, just the thing to get me into sweater-loving mode again.

So where is it? I wait impatiently.

Comments [16]
Filed Under: Rowan

Mahtha's Vinyud is Mahvelous

Comments [10]
Filed Under: Life | Travel | Martha's Vineyard

Looking ahead to more shellfish

Everyone, say goodbye to Rose of England. I've finally decided I could no longer work with cotton thread. And even though the lace looks super complicated on paper, it has been rather a snooze to knit, what with all the repeats that just get more endless as the circumference gets bigger. I might try again with some lace-weight cashmere/silk I have...some day. Some day.

Guess what? It's hot. It's global warming. But just found out that we have not one, but TWO more AC units that came with the house (or the that previous owners just left) that are sitting in the attic. Duck dragged it down all by himself this morning as I lay drooling in bed. Like I had gotten enough sleep and wanted to get up but just could not do it. There were greater powers at work. *The heat lulls my eyelids shut every time I open them and that's when I'd have about 3 to 5 minutes worth of crazy wacky heat-induced dreams that eventually wake me up.

Repeat from * 10 times.

The AC unit died after running for a few minutes. We're too hot to retrieve the second unit from the attic.

Things are looking up though! First, it is going to cool down considerably tomorrow, so we don't need no stinkin' AC, take that. 

Second, we're going to spend the pleasant weekend in Martha's Vineyard, wooooooooo! Woo! Woo woo.

Have you heard about Netflix's Roadshow? That's the impetus for us going - watching Jaws at the beach! Where they filmed it! - and going biking, which we haven't done nearly as much as we should have so far this summer.

Duck has never been to MV. I went once with a friend when I first moved to Boston. We rented bikes, and at one point he skidded off the road and had his face nearly run over by the car behind him. A nice, rich man across the street witnessed the near tragedy and invited us into his beach house so Rob could clean his scrapes.

While he did that, from the living room I took in the disgustingly gorgeous panoramic views of the ocean, and then took off my clothes. I only had a few minutes to seduce the nice, rich man well enough to get at least an invitation to the clambake I was sure he was going to have that night. Because if I lived in Martha's Vineyard and had a house like that, you know I'd be having a motherfucking clambake every single day.

I'd do just about anything for a clambake. A REAL clambake, the one where you dig a ditch in the sand and cook with ocean water and seaweed and all that magic.

But alas. It didn't happen that day.

Maybe I'll have better luck this weekend. A waterfront Sugar Daddy for Duck and me sure would be nice.

Comments [6]
Filed Under: Lace | Rose of England | Life

Crabby

How did it become August already? I hate August. I've been out of school for a hundred years now but everytime August rolls around, I get that pang of Back to School anxiety and imagine the weather is cooling enough to start worrying about the onset of winter. Even though right now it's about 99F degrees and winter wouldn't be so bad. Did I mention the AC unit in the house has broken?

We had a really good, social weekend. We basically ate and drank the entire time, neither which are really good for keeping cool. After we spent an afternoon at a friend's BBQ, my college friend Raj in Providence invited us down to help him with a shellfish situation. He calls up and goes, "Mike [another college friend] overnighted me a dozen crabs! From Baltimore! I can't eat all these by myself! Help!"

I don't think it is an everyday occurance that one guy sends another guy 12 crabs just cuz. It is the sweetest thing ever. And really quirky which I like. 

After that bbq of hotdogs and pulled pork and cupcakes (filled with peanut butter!) in the smothering heat, the LAST THING I wanted to eat were crabs. But I couldn't say no. Because those crustaceans were sent with love.

His place wasn't air conditioned either. By the time we were done eating, his apartment reeked of an oceanside landfill and our faces had melted into our shoes. Seagulls uulated overhead over all the crab guts and broken shells. Oh the humanity. We were sweaty and the salty shellfish smell just stuck to our every salty pore.

But oh they were tasty. All heavy and meaty and sweet and delicious. Those crabs were once full of life, you could tell.

We cooled down afterwards by going to WaterFire. And by "cooled down" I mean "remained uncomfortably warm." Everyone should visit the phenomenon that is WaterFire. It's a funny thing. Someone decided to light the narrow little rivers with a string of pyres, play some world music over the loudspeakers, serve some lemon slush, maybe some wine, and foosh! it's the best thing since sliced bread. They've got a couple of gondolas going on, and masked "nymphs" rowing up and down tossing flowers into the crowd. WaterFire is every weekend in the summer and you'll be surprised the number of people who show up just to watch fire burn.

I guess it's the equivalent of lighting a ton of candles around your bathtub. No one argues that a candlelit bath is romantic. It is. So when you imagine WaterFire, picture a placid river instead of a warm tub, crackling bonfires instead of flickering candles, and bam you've got uber, SUPER-SIZED romance, no? More romance than you can handle so that you invite all the neighbors to join in.

Providence is really pretty. There's the quaint, colonial backdrop of the RISD campus and College Hill on one side, and the quaint metropolis on the other. I never used to think much of the place when I went to school here.

But all it took was a good exfoliant - the kind with microbeads -  a little makeup and some pearls and suddenly she's got all this grown up sophistication that I hardly know who she is anymore. So proud and wistful at the same time...

I wish knitting would keep me entertained these days, but as it turns out I haven't knitted a stitch in a whole week. My mom called yesterday, and asked if I wanted her sewing machine, as she is upgrading. A sign perhaps?

Comments [7]
Filed Under: Life | Travel | Providence